and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
