Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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