Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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