Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
