the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
