Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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