i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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