Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
smell my finger.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
