I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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