where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
