why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
