Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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