his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
