i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
