It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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