but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
