is wine microwaveable?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
