She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
