all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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