I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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