I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
