i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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