And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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