I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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