can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
