In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize