it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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