What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
where are you?
Hypothermia
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
