obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
