OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The best revenge is premature balding
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
