I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
