nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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