I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
