everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
