You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she peed on how many people?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
