I am full of burrito and curiosity
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
