Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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