i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
