So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i think my cat just said my name.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
