if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize