Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
