She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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