My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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