I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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