That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
