but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
