the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
