One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize