Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
