so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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