R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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