these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
