Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We're too hungover to prance.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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