I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
