There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
