i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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