I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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