halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You are the jesus of drinking
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
